Everyone is acting tough, and it reads like a bad episode of Succession set on ice. Trump waves tariffs, Europe waves unity statements, and Greenlanders get treated like a prop. The fastest way out is an off-ramp with dignity: pause the tariff clock, start talks on security and economic support, and let Greenland's leadership speak for itself. If the goal is to keep Russia and China out, allied cohesion matters more than chest-thumping. If the goal is a domestic win, admit it's theater. Either way, stop pretending tariffs are painless.